The Three Hats

Oh when did I wear that beige colored straw hat?

Memories, memories all come flooding back

'Twas to one of those Great British garden parties,

Sandwich triangles, cucumbered with cress

Scones, clotted cream and jam of the best.

Fifty or more years later, I tried on that straw

It just didn't fit me at all as before.

Came down over me ears.

Why, 'as me 'ead just shrunk?

Not surprising, I'm downsizing – nothing's as it was before.

The house that I've live these forty years or more

That's neither the same as 'twas before

The steps to the bedrooms are increasingly steep

When I get to the top I'm real ready for a sleep.

"Ma," my kids said, "It's time now to sell

You're not such a toff, not looking so swell

As you did when dad moved you in to such applause

Now sadly, alone, you must downsize - or else!"

Chanukah showed me how right family was

I sold, and bought. within just those eight days

From 380 sq. meters down to eighty-nine

And yet the thought at the time seemed sublime.

That is – until, where will my hats go? Not only the straw,

But another from dear mother-in-law (forty years ago)

"All right," said my kids. "If you wear it any more

to weddings or barmitzvahs, you'll go there alone."

So what could I do but atone...

And look for a much larger home

But that wouldn't do – downsize or else

They'll cut me out of their Will

As just recompense!

Yet now still another hat I've found,

And that's one when all the sound

Is of answering questions all around

My answers to them with wisdom abound.

Electrical points high or low and how many

And you know each plug costs a pretty penny.

A new sink? Or discard and use what's in place

My head's going round – with my new hat, in space!