A Barmitzvah in a Time of War

By Proud Grandpa Larry Butchins

Holding a celebration in a time of war and uncertainty may seem, to most people around the world, like unusual behavior. But it has always been a Jewish value to celebrate joyous events rather than wallow in sadness and despair. So it was with absolute joy in our hearts that we celebrated Omri's barmmitzvah at the end of January, even though we are still fighting a bitter war.

As it happened, Omri's Parsha (Exodus 10) "Bo" – "Come (unto Pharoah)" coincided with the phased release of a number of hostages from Hamas dungeons: Moses's demand to Pharoah to "let my people go..." was thus entirely appropriate.

Omri's barmitzvah ceremony was held in the small florally decorated "Beit Elisheva" Conservative shul in Mitzpe Ramon, a stone's throw from the magnificent Machtesh Ramon (natural crater), in southern Israel.

The shul was packed to its capacity of about 40 people, family and close friends. Omri, swathed in a large tallit – which I handed to him as a gift from "generation to generation" – confidently stepped up to the bimah. The Torah blessings were recited by grandparents: Amit's mother Nava, Marlyn, and me. Under the watchful eye of Rabbi Mira from the Ramat HaShalom congregation in Beer Sheva, who tutored him for this focal point in his young life, Omri read the story of Moses's encounter with Pharoah in his attempt to free the Israelites from bondage in Egypt.

Almost simultaneously, another eight hostages – three Israelis and five Thai nationals – were being released from Gaza.

Even more appropriate was Omri's D'var Torah – his own incredibly deep interpretation of this iconic portion of the Torah, from which I think it is worth drawing some quotes:

"... G-d completely destroys Egypt... in my opinion, He exaggerates the way He acts. Why couldn't G-d simply free the Israelites from Egypt without violence?

"Maybe He could have inflicted smaller, less severe plagues, instead of causing such immense destruction? Maybe this didn't need to be a collective punishment? He could have punished only Pharaoh and those directly supporting him. Was this moral? Is this a good example for the Israelites—teaching them that this is how they should behave? Is this the only way to free a People?

"G-d even acknowledges that He is tormenting the Egyptians...he wants the Israelites to pass down stories of His greatness from generation to generation and to recognize His power.

'And the Lord hardened Pharaoh's heart making Pharaoh more stubborn and angry...when Pharaoh was about to give in and let the Israelites go, G-d hardened his heart. But why?

"Another thought I had is that maybe G-d did not want to give the Israelites an easy and immediate solution—so that they would understand that they, too, need to take action and initiative to save themselves. That way, if they ever find themselves in a similar situation in the future, they will know that they are not powerless—that they have the ability to influence and change their own fate."

Finishing the service with Kiddush, I symbolically presented Omri with the +100-year-old silver Kiddush cup, given to my father – his great-grandfather – for his barmitzvah in London in 1923.

Now let's fast-forward to the most important part of any barmitzvah boy's day – the PARTY!

The venue was the popular Keeboots restaurant, situated between the desert and the town's artist district. We were met at the entrance by the charming presence of bow-tied, waistcoated, Tsuf – Omri's younger brother – who played host and emcee for the evening: at nine years old, as confident and engaging as any Oscar professional.

Omri, with his flowing long hair was decked out in a stunning light blue suit, looking for all the world like a young rock-star-high-tech entrepreneur (which he is fast on the way to becoming!).

And so the party – planned and produced by mum Camilla and dad Amit (as was the entire event) – raved on.

Keeping it all in the family, the "opening act" was singing the Beatles' version of "Happy Birthday" to Omri, with vocals by Camilla, Tsuf, and DJ Dror, and driving guitar accompaniment by cousin Adi, and Amit's brother Nim, who came from London where he is a well-known bass guitarist, with a number of gigs at the famed Ronnie Scott's Jazz Club to his credit.

Following this swinging opening, Camilla screened a movie about Omri's 13 years with greetings from friends and family around the world.

We rocked on with superb vegetarian and vegan catering by Keeboots; the highlight being the magnificent cake – with symbolic elements of Omri's life and interests – created by Galit from Tzur Yitzhak.

Although crispy cold outside, the atmosphere in the restaurant was warm, vibrant and swinging – the gorgeous girls from Omri's class at school having a ball with their line dancing. When DJ Dror started spinning good old rock 'n roll, I couldn't stop myself...taking Marlyn onto the dance floor and moving like Jagger!

This was a genuine full family celebration; close family, extended family, and very close friends – Omri's Sadot family; "Safta" Nava, uncles, aunt, cousins from Hod Hasharon, Haifa and London; together with the "Butchgang" crew, Granny Marlyn and Grandpa Larry, aunts, uncles, cousins from Mitzpe, Tel Aviv, Raanana, and Kfar Saba.

The evening and the festivities eventually – like all wonderful things – came to an end; with a lot of clearing up, licking up the remnants of cake, pizza, snacks and savories. Everybody eventually fell into exhausted, highly satisfied sleep. But the feelings of love, bonding and happiness will be there for a very long time.