The Joy of Being Wrong
By Claudia Ira Davimes
Reviewed by Michael Wolff
Claudia Davimes's book The Joy of Being Wrong - A Pathway to Happiness is Claudia's first book. It is her way of helping people to take control of and increase the joy of their daily lives. Claudia has worked as a social worker, counselor, and therapist for over 35 years, first in Johannesburg, South Africa and now, in Israel. She specializes in helping her clients achieve happiness ("joy") in their lives by understanding in what ways their behavioral patterns are wrong and then enabling them to make efforts to slowly change.
Claudia writes that she trusts in the philosophy of metaphysics which she explains "refers to the studies of what cannot be reached through objective studies of material reality."
"The way I think of metaphysics," writes Claudia, "is the acceptance of belief in all the realms of our world – both physical and spiritual – and the belief in the relationship between us and the universe." She then continues, "We create our own realities.". Claudia made me think personally of the last lines of the famous poem Invictus by William Ernest Henley: "I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul."
She writes, "Ultimately, there are two things that we can control: our health and how we communicate to others.....I believe our bodies express what we really feel and give us clues and symptoms which we often ignore.". My perception of the aspect of communication is that Claudia also intends for us to understand that communication includes how we are perceived by others. Communication is a two-way street with a transmitter and a receiver.
Claudia accordingly deduces that if we can take ownership of our lives, then we can bring joy into our lives by changing our realities. We achieve this by realizing that our current behavior pattern and/or thought process are "wrong" and then slowly changing them, piece by piece, into ones which are "right" for us.
Claudia's introduction to her book is worth reading and the perfect starting point because in it, she explains why she wrote the book, what she is trying to do and how to gain the most benefit from the book.
Although the book is divided into chapters, Claudia has structured the book very well into four distinct parts. First, she writes about herself and her journey to "Joy;". becoming aware of what she was doing wrong and then changing her life pattern. The second part of the book is about how one can increase one's own self-awareness, admit to being wrong and then change.
In the third part, Claudia frames the book by writing about her new joyful path after her life changed. She concludes the book with a "Bringing It Home" section and a summary of the chapters in the book that we can reread to experience the "joy of being wrong." Claudia has a simple and clear writing style. She explains how our behaviors develop from childhood and become the way they are. We become knowledgeable about our emotional wounds – the "shielding" behaviors we employ to prevent further hurt and the "dark laws" that we impose on ourselves to help us maintain our sense of security, or what can be considered as our comfort zone.
Claudia calls these laws of behavior "dark" because, as we grow, they no longer help us and are "wrong." She also advises us on how to prepare ourselves to accept that we are "wrong" and describes the different things that we do to resist change, such as self-sabotage. She presents cases from her own practice and gives us exercises to help us identify our "dark laws." She beautifully explains various methods of therapy, moving from a description to giving concrete examples. We learn about Gestalt method, dream interpretation and guided imagery, to name a few.
She showcases ways of identifying and then effecting change with catchy names such as "Signposts." "Burying the spoon" and "Taking a pause." These terms assist us in remembering them. With each sub-section, after the case presentation Claudia suggests different exercises to help us change.
To benefit from the book, it should read it slowly, sub-section by sub-section. Accompanying one's reading with a personal journal enables doing the exercises which Claudia suggests. This is a book that one can return to, concentrating on the different topics developed in the sections.
If you are looking for joy in your life or simply wish to increase your current state of happiness, then this book is for you.
The book is published by Apis Books, 2025.
267 pages.
Available from:
Amazon, Paperback $21.35
Kindle $18.00
Claudia Davimes NIS 100, Tel: 053 475 7058; This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.